Perhaps, why i don't like my birthday?

Well, by the time you read this, my birthday will be almost over. A new day but the same chores of daily life must have also started.

You may ask me what I did on my birthday?

Well, the answer is 'nothing'. I didn't do anything specifically and that maybe surprising or may sound insane to you considering it was my 22nd birthday but it is fine for me. The only good thing that I feel  now is that I can really sing 'Twenty-two' by Taylor Swift ;)

As a custom or something that we had been following from a long time, birthdays are meant to be special with you getting surprises from your near and dear ones along with gifts and blessings that come along. This ideal sense of birthdays doesn't fit into my clumsy and stupid mind which is keen to just get over this day as soon as it can.

Someone made me realize that the reason for me not liking this day may be because of the 'extra attention' that you generally receive on your birthdays which is nothing wrong for a normal man who is excited for this day from a couple of months however, the same may be problematic for a person like me who weighs birthdays on the same pedestal like a normal day.

This time in order to act as a normal person who is just as excited about his birthday, I asked one of my friends about the idea of celebrating it on my terrace ( I have a kind of secluded room which is almost empty and considering the New Year party spot that it is called as, I thought would be great). What I didn't realize is that it was just a state of mind which was basically exhausted by quarantine and was  excited about something different. We all do that right? I mean you think you want a change but then your inner-self enlightens you often like 'Hey dude! What you up to?'

So what happened then?

The idea about the plan was basic and was not discussed further and then a day before my birthday when I was inquired regarding the same, I told them It might not be possible for a whole lot of reasons some being genuinely practical. I guess I may have made my friends upset by actually cancelling the plan in the last hours before the clock stuck 12 and wishes started coming in. Personally, I felt that telling them before hand about the state of affairs and how I might want things to happen on my birthday was important for both the sides.

Though, I am sincerely apologetic but on the other side taking into consideration that the entire day has passed, I feel I made a good decision because I genuinely liked the day. I kind of binge-watched 'Dark' which was long due. I know It might not be a good time to watch it but who are we when we compare ourselves with time(speaking in their language).

Anyway, so where was I? Yeah the reason why I don't like my birthdays.

Well, I don't think I can cite any particular reasons as to why I don't personally like it. Also, its not that I feel the same on my friend's birthday and I do visit them on their birthdays and celebrate along with them. I guess its just the way I am that I don't really like much interactions on my birthday.